Pissed

I just found out I have cervical cancer and I am pissed. I refuse to waste 1 minute on not saying exactly what I feel to everyone. My emotions are raw. It's not like what I am saying hasn't been said and I am not the only person ever to feel this way. So I am probably just taking up space on a forum that no one will ever read. Much like I feel like I am taking up space now and causing others grief.

Comments

  • cleo
    cleo Member Posts: 144
    And why not
    You are not taking up space and I am sure that most of us felt the way you do. I was the same...furious, cursing myself for possibly missing signs. But I think that it's better to feel as you do as then you make up your mind that it's all just a nusiance to be beaten. I survived that way...no tears, I get a stuffed nose and red face... and got on with it as you will. It works as that was in 2007. I am sorry that you had to find us but you will receive superb support from the strength of the other ladies here.
  • daisy366
    daisy366 Member Posts: 1,458 Member
    Trish
    It's OK to be pissed...there's alot of emotions that go along with the C-word.

    Been there!
  • LizGrrr
    LizGrrr Member Posts: 127 Member
    I'm right there with you :)
    I was diagnosed with UPSC (Stage 1A, Grade 3) last October and just completed treatment two weeks ago. I was angry as well, but focused on my new job: beating this. I returned to work full-time last week and I feel fantastic - I have great energy! In fact, I have such great energy that I immediately reported my boss to HR for asking me to postpone chemo so I could attend work, and for asking me to ask my oncologist to revoke my release restriction (I'm not allowed to work overtime through August).

    Don't mess with us cancer patients! We've been through too much to tolerate BS.

    I have been so blessed to have had the support all throughout my 8-month ordeal from family, friends and colleagues (boss excepted). I've had an amazing healthcare team, and even acquaintances and total strangers have shown such a high degree of kindness and love. And this board has been FABULOUS. What a tremendous resource of information, empathy, and encouragement.

    Some people have reported that their support network has fizzled after the initial diagnosis (muddling through extended treatment I guess gets boring), but I've been so fortunate that this was not the case for me.

    Hang in there, Trishcm! It gets better!

    Liz in Dallas
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    LizGrrr said:

    I'm right there with you :)
    I was diagnosed with UPSC (Stage 1A, Grade 3) last October and just completed treatment two weeks ago. I was angry as well, but focused on my new job: beating this. I returned to work full-time last week and I feel fantastic - I have great energy! In fact, I have such great energy that I immediately reported my boss to HR for asking me to postpone chemo so I could attend work, and for asking me to ask my oncologist to revoke my release restriction (I'm not allowed to work overtime through August).

    Don't mess with us cancer patients! We've been through too much to tolerate BS.

    I have been so blessed to have had the support all throughout my 8-month ordeal from family, friends and colleagues (boss excepted). I've had an amazing healthcare team, and even acquaintances and total strangers have shown such a high degree of kindness and love. And this board has been FABULOUS. What a tremendous resource of information, empathy, and encouragement.

    Some people have reported that their support network has fizzled after the initial diagnosis (muddling through extended treatment I guess gets boring), but I've been so fortunate that this was not the case for me.

    Hang in there, Trishcm! It gets better!

    Liz in Dallas

    Be as angry as you need to
    We're here to listen to you curse, cry, nag, or whatever you need. We've all done it. And we still continue to at various times.

    So sorry for your diagnosis. I hope you and your gyn oncologist develop an optimal treatment plan.

    Now, Liz, what the heck is this about your supervisor asking you to postpone chemo to accommodate work and release an overtime restriction? Good for you for reporting him/her! This person needs some serious reprimanding and then some training on what HER job is!

    Glad you're feeling so good. Keep it up.

    Suzanne
  • debrajo
    debrajo Member Posts: 1,095 Member
    Thats a good word...pissed!
    Thats a good word...pissed! Did the same thing, even threw a few things. No door or cabinet doors hang square due to me slamming them! Anger can clear the air and get you focused, not to mention getting the stress out. I am 25 months out of chemo or into NED, but it was 10 months out of my life I won't get back and it was one HELL of a 10 months. You can do this..we all have. Don't be surprised if , when the anger calms down. that you get weepy and depressed. It' all just part of the "grieving process" for what USE to be your normal life. We are all here..this is a different kind of board. We are not all sweetness and light even though we do go there. We are REAL. Best, debrajo
  • HellieC
    HellieC Member Posts: 524 Member
    debrajo said:

    Thats a good word...pissed!
    Thats a good word...pissed! Did the same thing, even threw a few things. No door or cabinet doors hang square due to me slamming them! Anger can clear the air and get you focused, not to mention getting the stress out. I am 25 months out of chemo or into NED, but it was 10 months out of my life I won't get back and it was one HELL of a 10 months. You can do this..we all have. Don't be surprised if , when the anger calms down. that you get weepy and depressed. It' all just part of the "grieving process" for what USE to be your normal life. We are all here..this is a different kind of board. We are not all sweetness and light even though we do go there. We are REAL. Best, debrajo

    You will get through this
    As the other ladies said, there are all sorts of emotions attached to the "c" word - and most of us have been through them at one time or another.
    But you will get through this - and all the ladies on this board are here to help you, because no one knows like we do what this whole thing is like!
    I did laugh when I saw your title, "pissed". I know that in America this means angry - but in England, where I live, it means drunk! :-) So there you have it - in the midst of all the anger, there is a smile!
    Take care and keep dropping in to us
    Helen