Hpv and judgement

Phoebesnow
Phoebesnow Member Posts: 600 Member
Ahhh!!! Life can be exhausting sometimes. Today I came acoss a discussion on the colon/rectal board about a bacteria that may cause some cancers.(fulsibactrium). Laurettas posted something about cervical cancer and other hpv cancers especially the unmentionable ones. Wow, really it was a slap in the face. Here I felt safe, protected from the outside worlds judgment about our disease. Anyone cAn catch hpv not only thru sexual contact, it can be absorbed thru your skin and really once someone has cancer why would it matter how they got it.


We all deserve to be treated with respect, not shoved under the rug like a piece of dirt, because the word anal is too dirty to say or write.
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Comments

  • z810840b
    z810840b Member Posts: 207 Member
    HpV
    Hi Phoebe- My cousin is a gynecologist.She told me that there isnt' one young girl who walks into her office who DOESN'T have Hpv.Even if they get the guardesil vaccine.How do we get anal cancer???She said people can walk around forever with hpv and never get cancer..But there are others whose immune system isnt as strong.and get sick.People who judge are ignorant and need to do their homework!...I once went to a gynocologist who said to me Farrah got anal cancer from anal sex.I asked her how she knew that???Did she read it in the Star???I have never had anal sex...I stopped going to that doctor.People say ridiculous things...Try to ignore them...hugs ..alyse
  • Phoebesnow
    Phoebesnow Member Posts: 600 Member
    z810840b said:

    HpV
    Hi Phoebe- My cousin is a gynecologist.She told me that there isnt' one young girl who walks into her office who DOESN'T have Hpv.Even if they get the guardesil vaccine.How do we get anal cancer???She said people can walk around forever with hpv and never get cancer..But there are others whose immune system isnt as strong.and get sick.People who judge are ignorant and need to do their homework!...I once went to a gynocologist who said to me Farrah got anal cancer from anal sex.I asked her how she knew that???Did she read it in the Star???I have never had anal sex...I stopped going to that doctor.People say ridiculous things...Try to ignore them...hugs ..alyse

    Hpv
    Thanks Alyse. I just needed to vent. I hate gossip and people who make hasty and sometimes ignorant judgements. I laughed about the anal sex comments. People do say ridiculous things, even doctors.
  • melbas
    melbas Member Posts: 43
    z810840b said:

    HpV
    Hi Phoebe- My cousin is a gynecologist.She told me that there isnt' one young girl who walks into her office who DOESN'T have Hpv.Even if they get the guardesil vaccine.How do we get anal cancer???She said people can walk around forever with hpv and never get cancer..But there are others whose immune system isnt as strong.and get sick.People who judge are ignorant and need to do their homework!...I once went to a gynocologist who said to me Farrah got anal cancer from anal sex.I asked her how she knew that???Did she read it in the Star???I have never had anal sex...I stopped going to that doctor.People say ridiculous things...Try to ignore them...hugs ..alyse

    hpv
    I, too, was asked if my cancer was from anal sex. Never did it, nrver wanted to try it, but now I live with knowing people think that. Only response I have is...God can help cure cancer...but there's no cure for stupidity. Melode
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    melbas said:

    hpv
    I, too, was asked if my cancer was from anal sex. Never did it, nrver wanted to try it, but now I live with knowing people think that. Only response I have is...God can help cure cancer...but there's no cure for stupidity. Melode

    Melodie
    That's a very good response! You are right, people can be cruel when it comes to discussing this cancer. What I find unbelievable is that people on another cancer discussion board would have such an attitude. My opinion is this: No one, and I mean NO ONE, deserves cancer--no matter what kind, where it's located or what may have caused it. All cancer is bad and no fun and I would think that anyone who has been through it or is going through it would have more empathy.
  • shirlann54
    shirlann54 Member Posts: 162
    We deserve respect
    We should be treated with respect.If someone ask what kind of cancer did i have have .I hate to even tell them .Because i see the look on there face .Or they will ask what is anal cancer and were is it. lol The other day i called this lady about joining there cancer support group..She ask me what kind of cancer did i have i told her.She didn' say any thing for a minute and then she said ' OH '..It did make me feel dirty...
  • Phoebesnow
    Phoebesnow Member Posts: 600 Member

    We deserve respect
    We should be treated with respect.If someone ask what kind of cancer did i have have .I hate to even tell them .Because i see the look on there face .Or they will ask what is anal cancer and were is it. lol The other day i called this lady about joining there cancer support group..She ask me what kind of cancer did i have i told her.She didn' say any thing for a minute and then she said ' OH '..It did make me feel dirty...

    Good morning
    I am glad I brought it up as it seems we all have a story or stories. It is good to unload.
  • sephie
    sephie Member Posts: 650 Member

    Good morning
    I am glad I brought it up as it seems we all have a story or stories. It is good to unload.

    scream it from the roof tops
    i think we should scream it out until people are used to the word anal. i also first start with the farrah fawcett kind then i go on into where it is. i do get asked questions and i answer so as to help people not wait so long for a 2nd opinion like i did. doctors are stupid also. to miss what i had was ridiculous because it looked like an ulcer on the outside of my anus, not even on the inside. i felt stupid for waiting so long but just kept hearing that it was not cancer . but the dre's and anoscopes that the stupid dr. would do sent me thru the roof with pain and i can take pain. we need to write to that person on the colorectal bd. are people afraid to say vulva cancer because it can be caused by HPV also. oh well. sephie
  • azgal
    azgal Member Posts: 31
    HPV present in 50% of Breast & Lung Cancer & 70% of Head & Neck
    HPV is present in around 50% of Breast and Lung cancers, and 70% of Head and Neck cancers, yet those cancers usually have no stigma attached to them.

    Most people are not even aware that a majority of those cancers (among others) are linked to HPV, and that just about everybody that's had contact with another human has been exposed to HPV.

    The sad, hyprocrital, thing is for those that stigmatize HPV-related Anal cancer, is that they are just as likely as anyone to be diagnosed with Anal cancer, or with Lung cancer, or Breast cancer.....especially those that have already been diagnosed with a cancer, since that shows their body was prone to abnormal cell changes.

    I guess 1 out of 3 people being diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime isn't enough to open everybody's eyes that cancer is a "tip-to-tail" equal opportunist. The more that's revealed about cancer, the more I've come to realize that cancer has only "one color"...
  • azgal
    azgal Member Posts: 31
    z810840b said:

    HpV
    Hi Phoebe- My cousin is a gynecologist.She told me that there isnt' one young girl who walks into her office who DOESN'T have Hpv.Even if they get the guardesil vaccine.How do we get anal cancer???She said people can walk around forever with hpv and never get cancer..But there are others whose immune system isnt as strong.and get sick.People who judge are ignorant and need to do their homework!...I once went to a gynocologist who said to me Farrah got anal cancer from anal sex.I asked her how she knew that???Did she read it in the Star???I have never had anal sex...I stopped going to that doctor.People say ridiculous things...Try to ignore them...hugs ..alyse

    Throughout my journey I've
    Throughout my journey I've heard some real doozies from doctors and laymen both. Upon him hearing the Dx of Anal cancer, my beloved long time family doc grimaced horrifically, mumbled something about anal sex, then slowly said "they're going to burn you up" and "the only body part as sensitive as the anus is the eyeball, and treatment is going to be like them using a blowtorch on your eyeballs". Wow, doc, tell me what you really think. LOL

    Your "The Star???" reply is hilarious! :D
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    azgal said:

    Throughout my journey I've
    Throughout my journey I've heard some real doozies from doctors and laymen both. Upon him hearing the Dx of Anal cancer, my beloved long time family doc grimaced horrifically, mumbled something about anal sex, then slowly said "they're going to burn you up" and "the only body part as sensitive as the anus is the eyeball, and treatment is going to be like them using a blowtorch on your eyeballs". Wow, doc, tell me what you really think. LOL

    Your "The Star???" reply is hilarious! :D

    That beloved long time family doc would be my former family doc if he had said that to me.
  • azgal
    azgal Member Posts: 31
    mp327 said:

    That beloved long time family doc would be my former family doc if he had said that to me.

    I guess I failed to mention
    I guess I failed to mention that he was beloved all that time BEFORE those comments. We'd known each other for almost 25 years at that time. His delivery sure could have been different.
  • lizdeli
    lizdeli Member Posts: 569 Member
    azgal said:

    HPV present in 50% of Breast & Lung Cancer & 70% of Head & Neck
    HPV is present in around 50% of Breast and Lung cancers, and 70% of Head and Neck cancers, yet those cancers usually have no stigma attached to them.

    Most people are not even aware that a majority of those cancers (among others) are linked to HPV, and that just about everybody that's had contact with another human has been exposed to HPV.

    The sad, hyprocrital, thing is for those that stigmatize HPV-related Anal cancer, is that they are just as likely as anyone to be diagnosed with Anal cancer, or with Lung cancer, or Breast cancer.....especially those that have already been diagnosed with a cancer, since that shows their body was prone to abnormal cell changes.

    I guess 1 out of 3 people being diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime isn't enough to open everybody's eyes that cancer is a "tip-to-tail" equal opportunist. The more that's revealed about cancer, the more I've come to realize that cancer has only "one color"...

    The "taboo" subject
    I agree, I get those looks too. I've been very open and honest about having had cancer and what type it is. Even at work. But I also know that people are going to the internet and looking up the causes and thinking what they think. I don't like the idea, but it is what it is. I too did not get this from anal sex of that I am 100% certain and I've never tested positive for HPV in all the years I've gone for my GYN exams. But, as we know it can sit dormant and then zappo. I try not to dwell on it, but I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me.
    glad to have people to talk to about it...thank you all for being there.
    Liz
  • Phoebesnow
    Phoebesnow Member Posts: 600 Member
    lizdeli said:

    The "taboo" subject
    I agree, I get those looks too. I've been very open and honest about having had cancer and what type it is. Even at work. But I also know that people are going to the internet and looking up the causes and thinking what they think. I don't like the idea, but it is what it is. I too did not get this from anal sex of that I am 100% certain and I've never tested positive for HPV in all the years I've gone for my GYN exams. But, as we know it can sit dormant and then zappo. I try not to dwell on it, but I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me.
    glad to have people to talk to about it...thank you all for being there.
    Liz

    Anal cancer
    I am not so brave. I told my family out of concern for them. I tell others colon or rectal. I am not proud of this.
  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559

    Anal cancer
    I am not so brave. I told my family out of concern for them. I tell others colon or rectal. I am not proud of this.

    I applaud all those who are
    I applaud all those who are able to be forthright about telling people they have anal cancer. I also sympathize with those who aren't. Me, I'm in the middle somewhere - I don't really talk about the cancer with just anyone. And if someone does happen to ask me what kind, I usually wave my hand around my abdomen and that's it, they don't ask any more questions. If I feel that someone is really interested, I'd be more than willing to give all the details. My close friends, family, and close work acquaintances know I had anal cancer and the how and why of it, and have been very good about it. Fact is, the anal area is not something people want to talk about. I'm okay with that. I don't feel guilty about my reactions. Maybe someday I'll be a spokesperson for anal cancer, but I'm not that outgoing anyway and for now helping others get through it (like on this forum) is enough for me.

    I didn't really think Lauretta's post was meant to be mean, but I understand the need to vent.
  • Angela_K
    Angela_K Member Posts: 374 Member
    HPV
    True confession: I say the word "anal" sometimes just to make some people squirm. :) Honestly, telling people that I have had anal cancer has never, ever bothered me. If they have 'ideas' about this disease, it's their ignorance, not mine. I strongly feel that God did not make me go through all of this only for me to keep quiet. If I can help with an early diagnosis or encourage open dialogue about HPV, I'm going to do it. And maybe I feel that my silence would make me the victim . . .allowing 'it' to win regardless.

    I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times . . .

    ****: Just another body part.

    Love to all,
    Angela
  • JDuke
    JDuke Member Posts: 438
    Angela_K said:

    HPV
    True confession: I say the word "anal" sometimes just to make some people squirm. :) Honestly, telling people that I have had anal cancer has never, ever bothered me. If they have 'ideas' about this disease, it's their ignorance, not mine. I strongly feel that God did not make me go through all of this only for me to keep quiet. If I can help with an early diagnosis or encourage open dialogue about HPV, I'm going to do it. And maybe I feel that my silence would make me the victim . . .allowing 'it' to win regardless.

    I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times . . .

    ****: Just another body part.

    Love to all,
    Angela

    Liz and Angela
    I love your attitudes. I don't mince words when telling people what cancer I have. If they are uncomfortable, it's their problem not mine. Just another body part in my opinion. I am sure that there have been people that have googled it and sat there looking at their computers with wide eyes and judgemental thoughts running through their heads. Again, their problem not mine. It is what it is and I know the more attention that can be brought to it the better. I agree that something good needs to come from this. My best friend is running in the NYC Marathon this Saturday. Her goal is to raise $26,000.00 to donate to the HPV and Anal Cancer Foundation. Today she surpassed $7,000.00 We have posted it all over Facebook, sent out emails, she was interviewed and an article was published in her local north Florida paper and we aren't done yet! I would be lying if I did not say that for a moment I felt very vunerable, but it was the right thing to do. She is doing this for all of us that have been down this road and all the ones that will follow us. Hopefully as awareness and research are increased those numbers will be fewer and fewer. The finish line at the end of 26.2 miles is not her only goal. The end of this cancer is.
    Blessings,
    Joanne
  • shirlann54
    shirlann54 Member Posts: 162
    Angela_K said:

    HPV
    True confession: I say the word "anal" sometimes just to make some people squirm. :) Honestly, telling people that I have had anal cancer has never, ever bothered me. If they have 'ideas' about this disease, it's their ignorance, not mine. I strongly feel that God did not make me go through all of this only for me to keep quiet. If I can help with an early diagnosis or encourage open dialogue about HPV, I'm going to do it. And maybe I feel that my silence would make me the victim . . .allowing 'it' to win regardless.

    I've said it once, I've said it one hundred times . . .

    ****: Just another body part.

    Love to all,
    Angela

    True confession
    I went to a cancer support group today.Ever one told there cancer story's .All but one was breast cancer .I was thinking about leaving .There storys were pretty long and thats ok .When it got to me .I told them i had anal cancer..I talk'ed for a few min about my cancer when i stared my treatments when i got done and that i had 3 biopsy .And the head lady cut me off .And went on and told her story.And i didnt even tell the bad things about this cancer lol. And i would'nt .I guess i should have said i never DID ANAL SEX.LOL .I did think about saying it but i couldnt do it.I may not go back.
  • JDuke
    JDuke Member Posts: 438

    True confession
    I went to a cancer support group today.Ever one told there cancer story's .All but one was breast cancer .I was thinking about leaving .There storys were pretty long and thats ok .When it got to me .I told them i had anal cancer..I talk'ed for a few min about my cancer when i stared my treatments when i got done and that i had 3 biopsy .And the head lady cut me off .And went on and told her story.And i didnt even tell the bad things about this cancer lol. And i would'nt .I guess i should have said i never DID ANAL SEX.LOL .I did think about saying it but i couldnt do it.I may not go back.

    Shirlann, that just makes me sad.
    I am so sorry that you had to experience that. On one of the other support forums, one of the members wants to get a bus/rv and go around the country educating the public about anal cancer. I think she may be onto something!
    Blessings,
    Joanne
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    JDuke said:

    Shirlann, that just makes me sad.
    I am so sorry that you had to experience that. On one of the other support forums, one of the members wants to get a bus/rv and go around the country educating the public about anal cancer. I think she may be onto something!
    Blessings,
    Joanne

    Shirlann--
    I'm sorry that happened to you at the support group meeting. What a shame that people can not embrace someone who has had cancer, no matter what type, when they have walked the walk themselves. I once attended a seminar for cancer patients/survivors. It was a small group and we were all asked to tell a little bit about ourselves and our cancer experience. I was very nervous, as it was the first time I had actually been asked to speak to total strangers about my cancer. However, when my turn came, I minced no words and told them I had anal cancer. No one fainted or gasped. Instead they listened attentively. I did not feel embarrassed or shamed. I'm sorry your experience was not more like mine.
  • Angela_K
    Angela_K Member Posts: 374 Member

    True confession
    I went to a cancer support group today.Ever one told there cancer story's .All but one was breast cancer .I was thinking about leaving .There storys were pretty long and thats ok .When it got to me .I told them i had anal cancer..I talk'ed for a few min about my cancer when i stared my treatments when i got done and that i had 3 biopsy .And the head lady cut me off .And went on and told her story.And i didnt even tell the bad things about this cancer lol. And i would'nt .I guess i should have said i never DID ANAL SEX.LOL .I did think about saying it but i couldnt do it.I may not go back.

    Support groups
    Shirlann ~ I'm so sorry. I've heard many times that cancer support groups are mostly boob friendly and that's because of the statistics . . .and because of the exceptional marketing of breast cancer awareness -- it's easier to talk about openly.

    A support group should offer just that, SUPPORT. This 'head lady' needs some more guidance regarding her role.

    Whether you go back or not is totally up to you and it's understandable if you chose not to. But it could also be a teachable moment. . .an opportunity to talk about the stigma, an opportunity to talk about HPV, an opporunity to talk about the symptoms and brutal treatment side effects. An opportunity to empower yourself.

    (And as a side note: I don't care who or what ANYone has sex with, in any oriface of the body. No one 'deserves' cancer.}

    Just a few moments ago I mentioned to my husband your post and breast cancer survivors dominating some support groups. And he said, "Lucky for you, I've always been an **** man." :}

    Happy dia de los muertos!!