I'll have to do the ****** chemo again.

There are three areas of concern in my body right now.

First, the local recurrence...a lump at the mastectomy scar. (It became 3 lumps between biopsy and surgery.) Had surgery Tuesday to get them out, and no nice neat steri strips this time. I have seven big black ugly stitches. Still waiting for full pathology on that, but the biopsy at that site showed cancer consistent with my original dx. I'm hoping I'll get clean margins here.

Second, mystery spot on the liver...it shows up on the CT scan but not on the pet scan. Based on everything else going on, I'm not willing to leave that a mystery. I'm gonna find a way to solve that little mystery...more scans, biopsy, have them remove the whole damned spot if I can.

Third, two lymph nodes near my left lung. I got final pathology on that biopsy today, yep it's cancer...and yep, it's consistent with the original dx. My onc is on vacation right now, so I spoke with another one...she says no surgical removal because the lymph nodes are in a location "that is too difficult to get to." It seems to me that if we can get to the lymph nodes to do a biopsy, then we can damned well get to them and take them out. So I'm asking for a consult with a thoracic(sp?) surgeon. Regardless, I will need chemo again because the cancer is in the lymph system. (And because it's in the lymph system, no lymphedema massage for me right now.)

I will have to wait at least two, maybe three weeks before starting chemo again. We need to allow healing from the surgery before we start killing cells again. The big advantage to waiting is that it will give me time to research my onc's recommendation and look at some clinical trials too. The scary part about waiting is how quickly IBC moves.

This is where I start either crying or cursing, depending on my mood pendulum...

Thank you all for caring so deeply and for listening so well.

Hugs,

Linda
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Comments

  • natly15
    natly15 Member Posts: 1,941
    Linda I'm so sorry you have
    Linda I'm so sorry you have to deal with more of this, but you are on top of it and I have great confidence that you can kick this IBC to the curb. Prayers and many hugs.
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    Bummer
    Lord, be with Linda as she goes through this difficult time. She has been through enough already. Please strengthen her for the fight ahead. We ask all of this in Jesus name. Amen.
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    Linda, I'm sorry you, too,
    Linda, I'm sorry you, too, have to deal with this recurrence. Your situation sounds somewhat similar to mine with the exception that I am IDC.

    My 2nd recurrence was also on the scar line and by the time it was dx it had spread to my liver. Now, it took 2 liver biopies to confirm that, but yes, there was a very small tumor there. I had the option and recommendation from my onc (Mayo Clinic) to participate in a clinical trial. The one he was suggesting just didn't seem like a good fit for me. It was a stage 1 trial meaning that it was in the testing stage for the safety and effectiveness of the combined drugs. I guess I am a more traditional person and I opted for recommendation #2 and that was IV chemo. I am taking Abraxane every 3 weeks and have had 2 treatments so far. I have noticed that the "lump" on my breast is no longer there. It had become quite large in the 2 months I went through all the tests at Mayo. The worst side effect from this chemo is that I have lost all my hair. That happened, just like last time, on day 14 after the first treatment. All in all, I feel lucky that I am not experiencing more severe side effects. Now, the Nuelasta shot is another story. I experience the bone pain for 3-4 days but I am able to control it with Extra Strength Tylenol. I feel I am lucky!

    We are all different and I know that you will make the choice that is the best for YOU. I am here for you and will help in anyway I can. Take care and together we'll kick it's ****!!

    Love and (((hugs))),
    Debbie
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    Thinking of you..
    Denise

    Thinking of you..

    Denise
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944

    Thinking of you..
    Denise

    Thinking of you..

    Denise

    Oh my gosh Linda.. I am so
    Oh my gosh Linda.. I am so sorry. You know what ever the journey you will have a lot of pinks on your side of the ring. My heart goes out to you as you are left to mull over this devastating news. Time to get your game on... I've got my gloves already on for you.

    Hugs,
    Lorrie
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member

    Oh my gosh Linda.. I am so
    Oh my gosh Linda.. I am so sorry. You know what ever the journey you will have a lot of pinks on your side of the ring. My heart goes out to you as you are left to mull over this devastating news. Time to get your game on... I've got my gloves already on for you.

    Hugs,
    Lorrie

    {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
    And prayers are coming your way. Really had hoped not to read this kind of news but you have an attack plan. We're in your corner, you know that. All the pink boxing gloves are ready for the fight.
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    MyTurnNow said:

    Linda, I'm sorry you, too,
    Linda, I'm sorry you, too, have to deal with this recurrence. Your situation sounds somewhat similar to mine with the exception that I am IDC.

    My 2nd recurrence was also on the scar line and by the time it was dx it had spread to my liver. Now, it took 2 liver biopies to confirm that, but yes, there was a very small tumor there. I had the option and recommendation from my onc (Mayo Clinic) to participate in a clinical trial. The one he was suggesting just didn't seem like a good fit for me. It was a stage 1 trial meaning that it was in the testing stage for the safety and effectiveness of the combined drugs. I guess I am a more traditional person and I opted for recommendation #2 and that was IV chemo. I am taking Abraxane every 3 weeks and have had 2 treatments so far. I have noticed that the "lump" on my breast is no longer there. It had become quite large in the 2 months I went through all the tests at Mayo. The worst side effect from this chemo is that I have lost all my hair. That happened, just like last time, on day 14 after the first treatment. All in all, I feel lucky that I am not experiencing more severe side effects. Now, the Nuelasta shot is another story. I experience the bone pain for 3-4 days but I am able to control it with Extra Strength Tylenol. I feel I am lucky!

    We are all different and I know that you will make the choice that is the best for YOU. I am here for you and will help in anyway I can. Take care and together we'll kick it's ****!!

    Love and (((hugs))),
    Debbie

    Debbie thank you for the
    Debbie thank you for the encouragement. Please talk with your onc about claritin (not claratin D) for the Neulasta bone pain. I know it sounds like it should have no effect, but it is recommended by the manufacturer. (The pharmacist can confirm this.) The claritin made a huge difference for me when I had the neupogin injections (a cousin to neulasta).
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    Thank you all for being in
    Thank you all for being in my corner.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • gami43
    gami43 Member Posts: 281

    Thank you all for being in
    Thank you all for being in my corner.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    Linda - I am sad that you
    Linda - I am sad that you are having to face this
    beast once again. My thoughts and prayers will be
    with you for this new battle. I wish you strength
    and courage for the fight; and, of course our hope in
    the Lord. Fight like a girl, Linda!
    Sending you a big tight hug.

    Luv, Teresa
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    Linda
    Linda, I'm so very sorry that you're going thru this again. Great that you're so determined to find the solutions that you want, not just what you're told. Please continue to use the time to heal cause the stronger you are, the harder you'll be able to fight.

    Cursing, crying, venting of any kind accepted here.

    Praying and sending angels to surround you and your family.

    marge
  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
    Linda,
    Curse and cry all you

    Linda,
    Curse and cry all you need to. Cancer sucks. While you are fighting this just remember we are all in your corner.
    Cindy
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    mamolady said:

    Linda,
    Curse and cry all you

    Linda,
    Curse and cry all you need to. Cancer sucks. While you are fighting this just remember we are all in your corner.
    Cindy

    Oh, Linda--wish I could come there and give you a big hug
    I understand your frustration about not being able to surgically remove the spots near your lung--and I'm glad you have a little time to research and maybe see another doctor about this. Maybe this is not the final word on this.

    As far as more chemo--that really does suck as well. But, try to consider it yet another weapon to destroy this beast once and for all. I know that's easy to say, but from what I've read on all your posts, you are one strong, determined woman and you can and will do this.

    Please keep posting--we are all here for you--every single day.

    Hugs, Renee
  • LoveBabyJesus
    LoveBabyJesus Member Posts: 1,679 Member
    UGH!!!!!!!!!
    Linda -- I'm so sorry to read this!! I just read Cynthia's great news, and I'm praying that you too experience another miracle. We all know how hard, annoying, discouraging things can get, but remember we're here to listen. And remember you're in our prayers. And also remember to keep your faith no matter what you see. No matter what you hear.

    I can't imagine the emotions you're experiencing. But this shall pass too. It's good you're being proactive. You should always listen to your inner voice.

    I'll be doing a special prayer for you tonight.

    Stay strong and positive sister. Believe.
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    Oh Linda, I am so sorry to
    Oh Linda, I am so sorry to hear this! Please pm me if I can do anything at all my friend. I am praying for you and know that, if anyone can fight this, it is you. Your strength and beauty shine through every post. ((((Hugs)))
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member

    Oh Linda, I am so sorry to
    Oh Linda, I am so sorry to hear this! Please pm me if I can do anything at all my friend. I am praying for you and know that, if anyone can fight this, it is you. Your strength and beauty shine through every post. ((((Hugs)))

    Linda,
    Sending hugs and love

    Linda,
    Sending hugs and love your way. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. After the initial shock fades a little, you can fight like a girl and beat this d**m disease.
    All my best,
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member

    Linda,
    Sending hugs and love

    Linda,
    Sending hugs and love your way. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. After the initial shock fades a little, you can fight like a girl and beat this d**m disease.
    All my best,
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    Damn
    So sorry you have to go through this again. Just do what you have to do to get rid of it. You know were here for ya.
  • Mitzi333
    Mitzi333 Member Posts: 511 Member
    Kat11 said:

    Damn
    So sorry you have to go through this again. Just do what you have to do to get rid of it. You know were here for ya.

    OMG Linda!!!
    What a bummer!!! So sorry to hear this news. You are in my thoughts and prayers that this round of chemo WILL care of the Beast!!! Please keep the faith that God will see you through this stage of the journey.

    We're all praying and sending positive vibes your way!!!

    Hugs~
    Mitzi
  • Mitzi333
    Mitzi333 Member Posts: 511 Member
    Kat11 said:

    Damn
    So sorry you have to go through this again. Just do what you have to do to get rid of it. You know were here for ya.

    sorry for the duplicate entries
    Sorry
  • Linedancer54
    Linedancer54 Member Posts: 18
    I'm sorry,too :(
    So sorry Linda for you having to go through all this again. It's bad enough to have to do it once. It certainly isn't fair to deal with with this horrible disease again. Prayers and hugs as you wait to find out what to do!

    Sandy
  • GreeneyedGirl
    GreeneyedGirl Member Posts: 1,077

    I'm sorry,too :(
    So sorry Linda for you having to go through all this again. It's bad enough to have to do it once. It certainly isn't fair to deal with with this horrible disease again. Prayers and hugs as you wait to find out what to do!

    Sandy

    Man Linda U been thru the ringer~
    I truly hope you will have clear margins with pathology~ U have hardly had time to catch your breath thru all this. I certainly feel your tears and anger. I think most all of us have had those moments washing over us time and again~ like you said however the mood pendulum swings~

    ~as for those ugly black sutures...I called mine "Franken~tittie" cuz those babies are ugly to look at.

    Thinking of you, and praying for peace as you wait~
    ~Melanie