Don't read if you need to stay positive

Tina Blondek said:

Thinking of you
Hey Dr Mary
Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. You are right....all hubbies had their period within the last couple of weeks! Bah humbug!!! Well...they are from Mars you know? Hope this finds you feeling a little better. Enjoy that takeout....I am sure your hubby will tire of it soon and appreciate the food you are making!!! But....he will never tell you so! D....n men!!
Tina in Va

Distance helps
Now that it's almost a week after I lost it, I'm wondering if I was experiencing another symptom of PTSD. I was keeping up an unreasonable schedule, and it might be that I was afraid that Doug would go back to being dangerously underweight or even have his cancer return if I relaxed.

I was VERY self-indulgent last night - we lucked into free tickets to the hockey game (playoffs) from someone not using them; I didn't worry about whether Doug could eat anything there and didn't even bug him to drink water until he got to the point where he couldn't talk ($4 for water!).

If I don't get a summer job, I think I'll look into volunteering with some vet groups. I don't know if this experience has gained me any insight into the PTSD returning vets have, but I'd like to try talking to some of them. At least they are less likely than many of my friends to think it's weird that I have a favorite knife that I talk to occasionally. . .

ketziah35 said:

PTSD?
No. You were tired of his complaining a**. You should rent this movie Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Don't imitate it, but just look at it.

Will do that, and shop, too
Sounds like fun - and I was tired of the complaining, you are quite right. Unfortunately, criticizing is sometimes a sign that he's under stress, so I was briefly overwhelmed by the fear that I'd mad his life more stressful by blowing up. I got over this fast. He's dealing and actually getting into worrying about me for a change (hmm.. . high blood pressure, drinking a bit too much, lost her job and was jerked around a bit finding another one, talks to her knife. . .).

I'm trying to plan a mini-shopping spree, as April suggested. We once had to do Christmas for our kids shopping only at the dollar store, as I had just about $10 that I could scrape together (I might have cashed in my penny jar). They don't remember it, as it was just as much fun as all the others. I do remember we were down to our last can of soup in the house the day before the gift checks from various parents came in - maybe my obsession with having tons of food in the fridge is not just about cancer. . . .

Enough about me, ketz - how are you doing?

3Mana said:

Be glad
All of you who are complaining about your husbands, should just be glad that you still have them. I would give anything if Tom was still here to complain about something to me. He was the greatest husband and really never complained. I loved him so much and miss him so much now that spring is here and he's not here to walk with me.
But it's okay if you get frustrated with them once in awhile, but please cherish every day with them. Carole

Always
I remember how lucky I am to have the little bugger here with me still, especially since I got so close to losing him a few times. I did hesitate before unloading precisely because I felt like the person who complained about having no shoes when so many have no feet.

Maybe, in a way, this is part of celebrating the fact that he is alive - I don't have to keep up the Saint Dougie vigil anymore.

I remember (this relates) about 8 months after my brother died (suddenly, at the age of about 50) when I was helping my mother deal with bills he left and such. We'd discovered that, although she'd lent him tons of money, he'd left all his earthly belongings to his lover, whom we blamed in part for his death. He had even borrowed the money from Mom to pay for his life insurance, so said lover got the house paid off plus a chunk of change. I clutched my head and said, "I just wish he were alive and here RIGHT NOW!" My mother looked worried - was her daughter in the grip of grief? Then I finished, "so I could kill him!" She cracked up. First time in months. Sometimes it's good to be pissed off.