Would you 'shave' your head -

Rague
Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
in support of a friend/family member?

Just wondering - there are some of us who have lost our hair to Chemo and some who haven't. So - would your be willing to 'shave'/clipper your hair in support of a friend/family member? Would you try to organize an event with several people participating? There is no 'right' or 'wrong' answer - we are each who we are and many other options.

Personally - I would have no problem having the clippers run over my head again but i would try to get others involved and turn it into a fund raising event.

Susan
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Comments

  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    I personally wouldn't shave my head
    I don't see how that helps support a person going through cancer. If anything
    it makes the other person miserable too.. LOL

    And at the risk of upsetting some people... at least for myself, I did not think
    that bald was beautiful. It was convenient I admit but beautiful, no.

    I would support a cancer patient by offering to clean their house, run errands,
    cook for them. You know the daily stuff that really matters.

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    aysemari said:

    I personally wouldn't shave my head
    I don't see how that helps support a person going through cancer. If anything
    it makes the other person miserable too.. LOL

    And at the risk of upsetting some people... at least for myself, I did not think
    that bald was beautiful. It was convenient I admit but beautiful, no.

    I would support a cancer patient by offering to clean their house, run errands,
    cook for them. You know the daily stuff that really matters.

    Hugs,
    Ayse

    Different opinions are why I
    Different opinions are why I asked. There are so MANY different way that we all think and what will support others.

    Granted the young men who shaved their heads when mine was were men but it made me feel good that they were thinking about me and to me it was a show of support/care. Over the years (before I had BC), I had heard of many groups supporting cancer patients this way. There are certainly many other way to support/give to those in need. Years ago, a very dear friend was going through some really hard times - I got her Hubby to give me the key to their house and while they were with family in another state over Christmas, I went to her house and totally cleaned it (as in a 'spring cleaning') so that when they came home she walked into a totally clean house. This past summer, I gave daily ride to Rads for someone who needed them.

    If I thought that it would help someone fell better, yes I would shave my head again. That's just me - not what is right for anyone else.

    Susan
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    I would do just about anything to support a loved one
    with cancer, but I wouldn't shave my head. I know that others wouldn't even blink an eye when asked, but I know I would be unable to do it. If it were long enough, I would consider a cut for Locks of Love.

    Sue
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    sbmly53 said:

    I would do just about anything to support a loved one
    with cancer, but I wouldn't shave my head. I know that others wouldn't even blink an eye when asked, but I know I would be unable to do it. If it were long enough, I would consider a cut for Locks of Love.

    Sue

    no I would not shave my head
    no I would not shave my head unless asked to. but I would also do anything for anyone. My husband wanted to shave his head for me, but we all begged him not to as he has a very large head .LOL
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    carkris said:

    no I would not shave my head
    no I would not shave my head unless asked to. but I would also do anything for anyone. My husband wanted to shave his head for me, but we all begged him not to as he has a very large head .LOL

    Well when I lost my hair,
    Well when I lost my hair, Sandy (Hubby) never said anything about 'shaving' his head but then it wouldn't have made any real difference with looking at him - he's quite bald (has been for years LOL) plus he's retired Navy so very short hair (what he still has) is norm for him. (Another funny - he has a 'pin head' wears a smaller hat than I do.)

    Susan
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    If a loved one asked me I
    If a loved one asked me I would do it, but, having lost all of my hair once, I'm not in a rush to lose it again.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member

    If a loved one asked me I
    If a loved one asked me I would do it, but, having lost all of my hair once, I'm not in a rush to lose it again.

    I am going to answer this in
    I am going to answer this in reverse. If I had a friend or group that wanted to shave their head in support of me if I had to do chemo I would tell them no. I would be so upset and miserable if someone did that. Now cutting hair shorter to donate to locks of love would be fine. I had a neighbor when her sister had to do chemo that asked if I thought it would be supportive to her sister to shave her head. I told her that I thought cleaning, shopping, visiting, and being there was the best way. But I can see where some people might find this supportive just not me. And I think that there is a big difference in a man shaving his head and a woman. A woman's hair is a very big part of our feminine mystic. Whether we keep it short or long, it does define who we are. There are only a few brave souls who go against the grain and wear their hair shaved by choice. My daughter had a friend in college who shaved her head. She went from long, crazy curls to smooth as a pool ball and she was absolutely beautiful both ways.
    So my answer is if someone asked me if they should shave their head in support of me I would say a Big No. I would like to think that if I was asked to do this to support someone else that I would but I am not so sure. I didn't do chemo but when it was considered I was not the least bit concerned about lossing my hair but to just shave it, I don't know. Hopefully I will never have to face either possibility.
    Good subject and yes, there is no right or wrong just different reactions and thought.
    Stef
  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
    Would you shave your head?
    Hi Susan,

    Your post really made me think, and I thank you for that. After having lost all of my hair everywhere including eyebrows and eyelashes I just do not think I could voluntarily shave off my hair again - even to support a fellow Pink Sister. While I had MANY side effects from chemo, the single worst one to me was the loss of my hair. It was the one thing that made it obvious to me and the rest of the world that I had cancer. I would take care of your kids, drive you to the doctor, clean your house, cook your meals, take your phone call at 3a.m. but the hair thing is just too much.

    IRENE
  • mrs gadget
    mrs gadget Member Posts: 118

    Would you shave your head?
    Hi Susan,

    Your post really made me think, and I thank you for that. After having lost all of my hair everywhere including eyebrows and eyelashes I just do not think I could voluntarily shave off my hair again - even to support a fellow Pink Sister. While I had MANY side effects from chemo, the single worst one to me was the loss of my hair. It was the one thing that made it obvious to me and the rest of the world that I had cancer. I would take care of your kids, drive you to the doctor, clean your house, cook your meals, take your phone call at 3a.m. but the hair thing is just too much.

    IRENE

    this makes me giggle and reflect at the same time...
    My husband finished his stem cell transplant treatment right around the time I was diagnosed with BC...to say the least, his hair was just starting to come back as mine was starting to fall out!! For a short time, we were truly the bald couple so there wasn't a choice in the head shaving. I have to admit we looked pretty funny and were truly each other's best friend during our treatments...
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    fauxma said:

    I am going to answer this in
    I am going to answer this in reverse. If I had a friend or group that wanted to shave their head in support of me if I had to do chemo I would tell them no. I would be so upset and miserable if someone did that. Now cutting hair shorter to donate to locks of love would be fine. I had a neighbor when her sister had to do chemo that asked if I thought it would be supportive to her sister to shave her head. I told her that I thought cleaning, shopping, visiting, and being there was the best way. But I can see where some people might find this supportive just not me. And I think that there is a big difference in a man shaving his head and a woman. A woman's hair is a very big part of our feminine mystic. Whether we keep it short or long, it does define who we are. There are only a few brave souls who go against the grain and wear their hair shaved by choice. My daughter had a friend in college who shaved her head. She went from long, crazy curls to smooth as a pool ball and she was absolutely beautiful both ways.
    So my answer is if someone asked me if they should shave their head in support of me I would say a Big No. I would like to think that if I was asked to do this to support someone else that I would but I am not so sure. I didn't do chemo but when it was considered I was not the least bit concerned about lossing my hair but to just shave it, I don't know. Hopefully I will never have to face either possibility.
    Good subject and yes, there is no right or wrong just different reactions and thought.
    Stef

    There is not right/wrong - just thoughts
    I was 'sans hair' for 8 months so to me it wouldn't be that hard to do it again. I didn't go without my scarfs, stocking caps or wigs during that time - it was FRIGID to put it mildly and I liked to not FREEZE.
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member

    this makes me giggle and reflect at the same time...
    My husband finished his stem cell transplant treatment right around the time I was diagnosed with BC...to say the least, his hair was just starting to come back as mine was starting to fall out!! For a short time, we were truly the bald couple so there wasn't a choice in the head shaving. I have to admit we looked pretty funny and were truly each other's best friend during our treatments...

    As I said before, Sandy is
    As I said before, Sandy is quite bald (has been for years), he teased me all the time while I was sans hair (AKA totally BALD) the he finally had more hair than I had. My comeback was always the same - "But mine will grow back - yours won't!" Which it did!

    Susan
  • LadyParvati
    LadyParvati Member Posts: 328
    Yes, especially if it would raise money for cancer research or
    Yes, especially if it would raise money for cancer research or make her (or him) feel less alone on the treatment journey. What's the big deal? I went through it once, and it grows back pretty quickly.

    Just MY opinion, though!

    Hugs, Sandy
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    I am in Ayse's court on
    I am in Ayse's court on this one. Reggie has beautiful, thick, long hair and he wanted to shave it in support of me when I did chemo the first time. I was adamant that he NOT do that! For one, I love touching his hair; it gave me comfort, and two, losing my hair was not a choice for me, but would have been for him. It seemed completely an apples/oranges type situation to me.

    The times I can see it, though,is when a school-age child is going through chemo and has to go to school bald. That time of life, as opposed to mine is so full of fear and peer pressure~ if most of the kids in the class looked like the "chemo-kid", I think the emotional playing field would be leveled, and a lot of childen, and perhaps adults alike could learn a valuable life lesson.

    I have seen plenty of young adults at the Relay For Life having their long ponytails lopped off to donate to Locks Of Love, and I think that is wonderful! No head shaving necessary, just a short, kicky hair style, and a loving donation made.

    You are right. there is absolutly no right or wrong on this one~thanks for the interesting post!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    chenheart said:

    I am in Ayse's court on
    I am in Ayse's court on this one. Reggie has beautiful, thick, long hair and he wanted to shave it in support of me when I did chemo the first time. I was adamant that he NOT do that! For one, I love touching his hair; it gave me comfort, and two, losing my hair was not a choice for me, but would have been for him. It seemed completely an apples/oranges type situation to me.

    The times I can see it, though,is when a school-age child is going through chemo and has to go to school bald. That time of life, as opposed to mine is so full of fear and peer pressure~ if most of the kids in the class looked like the "chemo-kid", I think the emotional playing field would be leveled, and a lot of childen, and perhaps adults alike could learn a valuable life lesson.

    I have seen plenty of young adults at the Relay For Life having their long ponytails lopped off to donate to Locks Of Love, and I think that is wonderful! No head shaving necessary, just a short, kicky hair style, and a loving donation made.

    You are right. there is absolutly no right or wrong on this one~thanks for the interesting post!

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Absolutely not!
    I don't understand why anyone would want to call attention to themselves by shaving their head "in support" of a friend going through chemo. Seems like they're saying "look at me, I have a friend going through chemo and I did this, aren't I wonderful?" I don't see how someone shaving their hair is of any help to the person going through chemo. Their hair will grow back quickly.

    If someone really wanted me to do it and could convince me it would mean so much to them, I probably would. I know some people do this in honor of the chemo patient, I just don't understand it. I don't think they're wrong for doing it, not at all, just don't understand. Did anyone experience this "tribute" to them losing their hair? How did it make you feel?

    Suzanne
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    friend of mine
    family member going to lose her hair..so they had HAIR SHAVING party...(for real) the whole family participated!
  • joannstar
    joannstar Member Posts: 403 Member
    No
    I don't see how that is supportive to another person. I would take them shopping for headcoverings and cook food or just be there. My hair is just coming in and I've uncovered it this week--can't image how my having my head shaved would help someone else. If anyone had asked me, I would not had let them--no need for 2 people to be bald, it was bad enough for just me.

    JoAnn
  • weazer
    weazer Member Posts: 440
    joannstar said:

    No
    I don't see how that is supportive to another person. I would take them shopping for headcoverings and cook food or just be there. My hair is just coming in and I've uncovered it this week--can't image how my having my head shaved would help someone else. If anyone had asked me, I would not had let them--no need for 2 people to be bald, it was bad enough for just me.

    JoAnn

    I would
    My sister did, when my hair started to fall out!
    I was'nt aware of it until she told me.
    I live in Colorado and she lives in Montana, and it was winter when she did it.
    Brrrrrrrr, the winters there are very cold.
    And a coworker of hers, they worked at a bar there and raised money and more attention to Breast cancer and many other cancers.
    So yes I would : )
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    weazer said:

    I would
    My sister did, when my hair started to fall out!
    I was'nt aware of it until she told me.
    I live in Colorado and she lives in Montana, and it was winter when she did it.
    Brrrrrrrr, the winters there are very cold.
    And a coworker of hers, they worked at a bar there and raised money and more attention to Breast cancer and many other cancers.
    So yes I would : )

    weazer@ very nice story
    so nice raised money as well...
  • ElizabethB
    ElizabethB Member Posts: 89
    must be love
    I had cut my hair and donated to locks of love. because I wanted to control this beast. I have two girls they have long hair. The next day they went down and had there hair cut for locks of love . I felt good that they thought so much of me to share.....when I first found out that I had cancer my two girls had a tattoo of a pink ribbon put on there wrist so that every time they see it they would think of me and say a prayer....My oldest does tattoos and she is very motivated. now because she donates 1/2 of what she gets for the tattoo pink ribbon to the .ACS so sweet and wonderful such a positive thing coming from my girls love you all you are all in my prayers
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member

    must be love
    I had cut my hair and donated to locks of love. because I wanted to control this beast. I have two girls they have long hair. The next day they went down and had there hair cut for locks of love . I felt good that they thought so much of me to share.....when I first found out that I had cancer my two girls had a tattoo of a pink ribbon put on there wrist so that every time they see it they would think of me and say a prayer....My oldest does tattoos and she is very motivated. now because she donates 1/2 of what she gets for the tattoo pink ribbon to the .ACS so sweet and wonderful such a positive thing coming from my girls love you all you are all in my prayers

    great you donated hair
    That is great....! EVEN if I could My hair has been dyed so many times I wouldnt' be able to!

    Also NICE on Tatto donation!