spouse or significent other

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  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #42
    UPDATE...denial 101
    long long serious talk with hubby..about his denial of my and illness(s) and his lack of listening...(seriously ADHD like our 2 children) I THINK I may have gotten to him with this talk...KEEP good thoughts he'll keep up with all going on...!

    I can dream can't I? hehe...
  • Double Whammy
    Double Whammy Member Posts: 2,832 Member
    #43
    disneyfan2008 said:

    UPDATE...denial 101
    long long serious talk with hubby..about his denial of my and illness(s) and his lack of listening...(seriously ADHD like our 2 children) I THINK I may have gotten to him with this talk...KEEP good thoughts he'll keep up with all going on...!

    I can dream can't I? hehe...

    We make everything look easy
    including housework, child rearing, cooking, surgery, and chemo. Why should they think it's not? It's difficult for our significant others to think we're anything but a rock or to believe anything but that it will all get back to "normal" and be fine again. Afterall, it always has been. My husband has learned a lot these past 10 months, and he's getting closer and closer to actually "getting it".

    Suzanne
  • Hippiechick58
    Hippiechick58 Member Posts: 320
    #44
    Double Whammy said:

    We make everything look easy
    including housework, child rearing, cooking, surgery, and chemo. Why should they think it's not? It's difficult for our significant others to think we're anything but a rock or to believe anything but that it will all get back to "normal" and be fine again. Afterall, it always has been. My husband has learned a lot these past 10 months, and he's getting closer and closer to actually "getting it".

    Suzanne

    Everybody Wants A Bob
    My husband(yes, his name is Bob) is the husband of the century. He cooks(gourmet meals), cleans, does the laundry and the shopping, takes me to my appts, does dishes and grooms our dog! He is a one-man wonder! All my friends say; "I want a Bob!" But there is one thing he says that drives me insane. Whenever I say, "I have BC," he says, "You HAD BC. They removed the tumor and nodes(BLMX) and now you are being given tx (chemo & Rads) just in case. I know he is right, but when he says that, I feel invalidated! I feel diminished, somehow. Like I am the person I used to be before the BC. To me, I HAVE BC, and will HAVE IT until I am dancing with NED! Then I will be able to say, "I HAD BC."

    Even though he can be a bit insensitive at times, I still wouldn't trade him!

    Be Well,
    DiaNNE
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #45
    Double Whammy said:

    We make everything look easy
    including housework, child rearing, cooking, surgery, and chemo. Why should they think it's not? It's difficult for our significant others to think we're anything but a rock or to believe anything but that it will all get back to "normal" and be fine again. Afterall, it always has been. My husband has learned a lot these past 10 months, and he's getting closer and closer to actually "getting it".

    Suzanne

    @suzanne
    I agree...we handle it all...I am not complainer ...very rarely ask for help and iF I do -I am really in need of it.

    SINCE I say I am not/ don't worry he feels like he shoulnd't..

    after long talk..i said I am not worry about tests this and that..but it would be nice for you in ask!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #46
    Hippiechick58 said:

    Everybody Wants A Bob
    My husband(yes, his name is Bob) is the husband of the century. He cooks(gourmet meals), cleans, does the laundry and the shopping, takes me to my appts, does dishes and grooms our dog! He is a one-man wonder! All my friends say; "I want a Bob!" But there is one thing he says that drives me insane. Whenever I say, "I have BC," he says, "You HAD BC. They removed the tumor and nodes(BLMX) and now you are being given tx (chemo & Rads) just in case. I know he is right, but when he says that, I feel invalidated! I feel diminished, somehow. Like I am the person I used to be before the BC. To me, I HAVE BC, and will HAVE IT until I am dancing with NED! Then I will be able to say, "I HAD BC."

    Even though he can be a bit insensitive at times, I still wouldn't trade him!

    Be Well,
    DiaNNE

    @DIanne
    I totally get it...my hubby does clean kitchen everynight (has for years) ...but He says the same thing..YOU HAD BC..which I say also...but he recently said well it was caught early YOU are ok...

    I pointed out it more like when it comes back not IF!

    I had a long tearful conversation in car (captive audience) and I THINK I got to him..

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