1st chemo tomorrow...so scared!

Dee
Dee Member Posts: 40
I thought I was doing ok...now its just one more sleep till chemo and Im so scared! Sweaty palms, upset tummy, thumping heart...I dont want to do this AT ALL!!

Please tell me it gets better?
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Comments

  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    Dee
    please don't get so anxious about chemo. The first day was a long one for me but very doable. I had no reaction to any of the chemicals, etc. Wishing you a good day too!
    {{hugs}} Char
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Yeah, can be quite scary...
    For me - it was the worst before the 1st time. Probably because of that "fear of the unknown"... Maybe what you're feeling today.

    Please be assured - yes, it's "doable"... Many here are either already in the midst of it, or finished (like me, long ago).

    Best advice I can share - be certain to follow all instructions provided by your doctor(s) and nurse(s). And come here, too. As often as you may need and want.

    Best wishes to you, for tomorrow and throughout.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    It definitely gets better!
    It definitely gets better! And, as others have said, the chemo was very doable for me. I was able to keep working. We will be there with you both tonight and throughout. Prayers and good thoughts coming your way!
  • joannstar
    joannstar Member Posts: 403 Member
    Hydrate now
    Fear is THE worst!!
    Start drinking a lot of water--like 64+ ounces today and keep it up for at least 5 more days, you want to flush the chemicals out of your system (or at least keep them moving). I packed a bag with snacks, books, a comfy blanket and a notebook and pen. Kept it ready for each treatment (I had 6).
    It really is doable, not fun, but you will make it through. Be sure to tell your doctors if you have ANY side effects--they will give you meds for everything except hair loss. I had to have a neulasta shot each time and that came with major bone aches for me. I took tylenol and oxycodone which kinda helped--time was the real healer. My schedule was every three weeks and by week three I would feel ok. Each cycle was different, almost exciting to see what side effect would rear it's head next (ok exciting isn't the right word).
    I had my last treatment on 1/7/11 and my hair is really starting to come in. My nails will take more time, maybe 6 months to look right again, but my manual dexterity is improving and I just think of all the money I'm saving on not having haircuts, hair dye, mani/pedis and razors.
    I'm doing rads now, which isn't as scary.
    Check with your onc and ask if you can take a xanax or valium tonight to help you sleep (I didn't and I didn't get any sleep the night before my first treatment).
    I know you'll do fine...so many of us have walked this path before you just as scared and we survived, you will too!
    Good luck,
    JoAnn
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
    Preparing for Battle
    Dee... It was scary on my first day too, not going to lie. What made it easier for me was that the nurses and staff were kind. My husband came with me too and encouraged me through this process. I also met some wonderful Survivors who were in the same boat as well.

    Think of it this way... you are going into the clinic tomorrow to kick cancers butt to the curb! Good riddance to the cowardly beast. Put on your armor and FIGHT! You will get through this, you are stronger than you think!

    Once you start treatment, make sure to drink plenty of water, liquids. I ate bananas, yogurt, crackers, baked potatoes, and cottage cheese. Some other Survivors will give you some helpful hints, no doubt.

    You are on the Road to Recovery. Remember to breathe and take it one step at a time.

    Take care, God bless.
    BL
  • sparkle1
    sparkle1 Member Posts: 242
    Yep the first one I was
    Yep the first one I was really nervous but axious to get things started. Drink plenty of water. Hope your experience is as non-eventful as mine was. I did get some aches and pain after the neulasta shot, but everyone is different so you may not have to have the shot. We are here for you.
    Sparkle
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    Very understandable..
    We've all been in your shoes...I can say with 100% honesty, I know how you feel! I was terrified too..as someone said, it's the fear of the unknown..and I am telling you again with 100% honesty it wasn't anything like I expected or feared.. I had Taxotere/Cytoxan..I started my steroids and anti nausea drugs as directed the day before...continued them for 4 days following chemo....take your anti nausea drugs religiously!!!! It's easier to prevent nausea than get it under control once it starts...if it does. I never had the first wave of nausea with any infusion...I ate peanut butter on a bagel before I left the house..as instructed..something to stick to your ribs...drink plenty of liquids before during and after..my cancer center even fed us lunch...continue to drink plenty of fluids for days following.
    The chemo nurse will stay by your side for about the first 20- 30 minutes of the infusion to make sure there is no reaction....
    I, truly feel your anxiety...and wish I could take it away...be kind to yourself, rest when needed and possible and don't turn down any offers of help!
    Feel free to send me a private message if you 'd like to talk.

    Wishing you peace of mind,
    Nancy
  • cavediver
    cavediver Member Posts: 607
    oh Dee, it will get better.......
    We all understand that you would rather do anything else than have to fight this beast. But, I know fight you will and win!!!! Chemo is not so scarey once you start....as others said, drink lots and lots of water and ask questions and let the nurses know if you are nausious etc. You can do this and get through it....and then you will have won! We will all be there with you. I am so sorry that you have to do this, but I know you will be okay. Hugs and more hugs sent to you!
  • bunya
    bunya Member Posts: 11
    IT SOOOOO GETS BETTER!!!!!
    Dee, Believe me...Everything is going to be alright. I remember my first day of Chemo. The nurses were so calming and kind and reminded me that this is the beginning of the zapping of those cancer cells. I laughed as I pictured "them" screaming "we're dying!!" as that liquid flowed through my veins. I drank alot of water to help flush the chemo through throughout my treatments. I felt tired,and weak the next day but very functionable. Actually..the flu is 100 times worse in my opinion. One bit of advice...use vaseline on your skin areas "down there" because your urine will irritate and when you poop you could get very irritated and vaseline beforehand helps alot. Try to remember that this won't last forever and that you are now a soldier in a war of which YOU want to win!!!PS: My hair grew back SO FAST and SO CURLY and THICK and I love it! I was scared too just before my first treatment but not after the first 10 minutes of it nor after that. I looked forward to going every three weeks. Easy..no, but scary hard..no. Deep breaths honey! EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE!
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    My onc prescribed ativan for
    My onc prescribed ativan for the night before and the morning of the first treatment. It helps with nausea too, I've used it since the first one too, so it might be worth asking about.

    My doc also prescribed steroids starting the day before the first treatment. If the same is true for you, they might be adding to your jitters. Many people have more energy and get a little hyper on them. For me, knowing that was part of the cause helped me to relax.

    Try a relaxing tea, some deep breathing/relaxation/mediation exercises. One I learned long ago is to lay down, close your eyes. Then focus on just breathing, make your inhale through your nose as long as possible. Then make your exhale through your mouth also as long as possible. Then try and picture your breathing as a circle, with no stopping point between the inhale and the exhale.

    Know that you are strong enough to do this, and that we'll be with you.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    BIg Hugs
    Oh Dee I know how you feel, the unknown is so very scary but try to think of it as a step taken to stomp out the cancer and to return you to good health. Each treatment is one step closer to having all of this behind you. Be kind to yourself and do not overdo, if you are tired rest, drink lots of fluids and do not feel badly if you need to accept help from others it is okay you will get through this, you are brave for taking this step and we are here for you.

    RE
  • jamiegww
    jamiegww Member Posts: 384
    You can do this!
    I remember how scared I was the first time also but now it's just a memory. The chemo nurses know what they are doing so just relax and let them do their jobs. Most likely the meds they give you before the chemo will help you relax. You might even doze off for a few hours. You will feel so good to know you have that first dose behind you. Please keep up posted.

    HUGS!!!
    Jamie
  • Dee
    Dee Member Posts: 40
    RE said:

    BIg Hugs
    Oh Dee I know how you feel, the unknown is so very scary but try to think of it as a step taken to stomp out the cancer and to return you to good health. Each treatment is one step closer to having all of this behind you. Be kind to yourself and do not overdo, if you are tired rest, drink lots of fluids and do not feel badly if you need to accept help from others it is okay you will get through this, you are brave for taking this step and we are here for you.

    RE

    thank you all for your
    thank you all for your messages xx

    Ive got myself a big bottle of water and took down the clock so I cant see how slow it is going!

    Most of all...I dont want to FEEL like a cancer patient...I feel good now and am so scared of actually feeling like I have cancer!
  • jamiegww
    jamiegww Member Posts: 384
    sorry........double post.
    sorry........double post. The darn thing hung up.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    jamiegww said:

    sorry........double post.
    sorry........double post. The darn thing hung up.

    One of the hardest things I've ever done
    was make myself walk in that door the first time and sit in that chair...It is sooooo
    scary the first time for all of us....but I want you to look around at the other ladies who are there and see what they are doing...they are chatting, laughing, eating, reading,
    sleeping...nothing terrible is happening to them...and nothing terrible will happen to you either...tell the nurse to walk you through everything she is doing the first time...and if you will feel better, bring someone to sit with you that first time. I did the first time,(or I probably would have run away!) , but after that I drove myself to and from all my chemo and radiation treatments.I know you will do fine.
    Other Dee
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    dyaneb123 said:

    One of the hardest things I've ever done
    was make myself walk in that door the first time and sit in that chair...It is sooooo
    scary the first time for all of us....but I want you to look around at the other ladies who are there and see what they are doing...they are chatting, laughing, eating, reading,
    sleeping...nothing terrible is happening to them...and nothing terrible will happen to you either...tell the nurse to walk you through everything she is doing the first time...and if you will feel better, bring someone to sit with you that first time. I did the first time,(or I probably would have run away!) , but after that I drove myself to and from all my chemo and radiation treatments.I know you will do fine.
    Other Dee

    I know what you mean, Dee, about not wanting to feel like
    a cancer patient. I, too, felt so good before I was diagnosed. It was so unbelievable to me that I could feel so healthy and be so sick. Anyway, I was terrified for the first treatment--and like all the others have said--it went so well, I couldn't believe it. I had 6 rounds of TAC and the only side effects I got were the aches and pains from the Neulasta injection and everything tasted really crappy. I never vomited--not even close. Had a couple of little diarrheas here and there, but nothing terrible. It was kind of like I was at the beauty shop--we all laughed and talked--it was hard to believe what was really going on in there!

    My wish for you today, Dee, is that you have a real easy time of it too. It doesn't have to be horrible (in most cases it's not) and if you have any side effects--the docs have so many remedies for you.

    Hugs, Renee
  • Clementine_P
    Clementine_P Member Posts: 518 Member
    Dee said:

    thank you all for your
    thank you all for your messages xx

    Ive got myself a big bottle of water and took down the clock so I cant see how slow it is going!

    Most of all...I dont want to FEEL like a cancer patient...I feel good now and am so scared of actually feeling like I have cancer!

    Dee, I agree
    with everything these women have said. The first chemo is by far the worst mentally. It is so scary not knowing what to expect both during the treatment and after. Try your best to keep busy to keep your mind off things tonight. I completely know what you are saying about not feeling sick or like a cancer patient. The chemo didn't do that to me either. Yes, I had some side effects which I most definitely could have done without but I promise you that they weren't terribly bad. If you start feeling something you should tell your oncologist. Almost all side effects have treatments that can either get rid of them or certainly lessen them. I too was prescribed Ativan which helped me the day before my first treatment and the night of the first day of all of my treatments. I had to take steroids and was amped up from them so the Ativan helped relax me. As for helpful hints, drink lots of water, have something with you to keep yourself busy both during your treatment and afterwards, listen to your body and get some rest if you are feeling tired, and just be good to yourself. You will come through this like a trooper, I promise.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    My first chemo was hard on
    My first chemo was harder on me emotionally more than physically. Even though I had of course already been diagnosed and had surgery etc, somehow the physical act of being hooked up to be infused made it all horrifyingly real. I cried like a baby, I can tell you that! After that~I was just fine. I made friends at the cancer center, had a great rapport with the nursing staff, and the bottom line is: Chemotherapy saved my life!!!!!
    We are with you every step of the way~ any concerns, fears and triumphs you have along the way we share with you.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • aysemari
    aysemari Member Posts: 1,596 Member
    Dee
    been there done that. First time is VERY scary. Up until that point
    everything was rush, rush and the surgery was my first ever and some
    what scary but I was out of it for most of it right?

    But chemo is different, you sit there and watch it drip into you. And
    worry and wonder what it will do to you. I used to envision how it
    attacked the cancer, hello well who are you? clunk,clunk Cancer was
    very surprised. In my head I started calling it liquid hope.

    Just relax and know you will get through this. After all a while, you'll
    know what to expect side effect wise and everything and you will go
    in more relaxed.

    Hugs,
    Ayse
  • Dee
    Dee Member Posts: 40
    aysemari said:

    Dee
    been there done that. First time is VERY scary. Up until that point
    everything was rush, rush and the surgery was my first ever and some
    what scary but I was out of it for most of it right?

    But chemo is different, you sit there and watch it drip into you. And
    worry and wonder what it will do to you. I used to envision how it
    attacked the cancer, hello well who are you? clunk,clunk Cancer was
    very surprised. In my head I started calling it liquid hope.

    Just relax and know you will get through this. After all a while, you'll
    know what to expect side effect wise and everything and you will go
    in more relaxed.

    Hugs,
    Ayse

    liquid hope...I like that one
    thank you lovely ladies xx

    funny how I was having a pity party...then our 3rd biggest city in NZ - Christchurch, has just been hit with another huge earthquake...makes it seem so insignificant!

    cheers to liquid hope! and thoughts and prayers to our Christchurch families