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abrub's picture

Great day at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center

Great day at Memorial Sloan Kettering between my scans and drs appts - all clear, with more of the feeling that the cancer isn't coming back. Yay!

However, I will be having abdominal repair surgery, along with a look-around in June. The dr expects 5 days in the hospital, but he's glad to have the chance to look directly inside, and not rely on CAT scans.

jaimeeleigh's picture

My experince

well i have just recently seen this website and thought i would give it a shot to talk to people about going through cancer.
first things first, i didnt have to loose my hair! i was soo happy about that. like it comes off and all, but i dnt have to worry about putting on a wig everyday and stuff.

now lately i have been having weird ass migrains!! its been so annoying that i cant even get to sleep!! i hate it. im so tired all the time but when i try to sleep all i can do is think think think! i feel so sick aswell!! man i cant wait till its over!

Sorry, no blogs here

I blog at Caring Bridge and have created my own blog, so blogging here would be redundant.
My Caring Bridge site is www.caringbridge.org/visit/jasonclark.

My personal blog is jdchasfaith.blogspot.com

No Job

Today I found out my mom lost her job. It really scares me because we counted on that money. It is not her fault she can't stand all day, and she defintely did not choose to get brain cancer. Do people really have no compassion? She has a family. Did they even think of that? I really want to know what is going through people's minds. I have been so angry, and even stressed out. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted on my chest.

I guess I need to find faith, and pray about it. God has a plan right? The future is going to be tough, but if I could overcome everything that just happened. I can make it! I just need people to have faith in me.

Maybe this will help....

I have stage three non-hodgkins lympoma. It has become something I just rattle off when people ask about my bald head. It has become this detached object with a life of it's own.

I'm hollow. I put on the brave face for family and friends and inside I am terrified. I look at things and wonder if this is the last time I will do/ see that moment. I can't slow down or the kids will know how sick I am. I need to go into work so people don't worry and ask too many questions. I cry when I am alone and have just hit bottom.

I don't know that this will help. I was told to try it. I am giving it a chance.

CiAnnaBananna's picture

Feeling Guilty

Feeling guilty is one of those useless emotions (like jealousy) that can eat you alive and is so hard to stop. I"m 3 days post my first chemotherapy treatment and so far I haven't really gotten sick as I expected. I've been extremely tired and pretty much slept all of today and had a few waves of nausea that passed quickly. It seems my medication is working. But generally speaking, I am ok so far. I've just become a prisoner of my mind though. I woke up sneezing so I was paranoid that I was sick. All night when I kept waking up, all I kept thinking was "is it time to be sick? am I sick?" I just feel very fortunate that so far I'm not one of the sick ones. I should probably knock on wood.

First Day

Well, today a lady from church gave me the name of this website. I think it will really help me. I am not a cancer patient, but my mom is. She was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Grade 4 about 10 months ago. That is brain cancer. It all happened really fast, and became very hard on me. I really entered this website to meet people, who are my own age, going through the same things I am. I am really tired of friends saying they understand when the truth is they have no idea what I am going through. It is very frusterating for me, and a lot of them really don't even care. If you don't know much about Glioblastoma, the average life span, with treatment, is about a year and a half.

Thankful for all of your info

Hi,I was diagnosed with stage 4 PPC in march. At first I was diagnosed with colon cancer then pathology showed ovarian markers. It wasn't until I underwent surgery for colon resection and historectomy that I was told it was ppc. I am 39 with 5 children who need me. I am still devestated by all of this. I thought I was in fairly good health I ate well and worked out. My youngest children is genesis almost 4 and hunter 18mts. I looked up info from the hospital with my phone only to see that It was not good news. I am going to MD.Anderson in Orlando for treatment. I am going to do the clinical trials with the avastin.

tjo66's picture

Finding It Hard

I haven't been on here lately because it's been so hard. Getting on here is like makes me think of dads cancer and I don't want to. But....that is very selfish because I am sure dad doesn't want to think about it either but it's here and always will be. Things are getting rough, although his oncologist says he is in remission he still takes chemo and rituxan and getting weaker everyday. I have to keep telling myself that it is so much harder on him than me, but to see him suffer like this..GOD I don't want to do this and I don't want im to do this. HE is down to 106 lbs and has fallen twice in the last week.

Beardragon's picture


I'm a tough dude. I must be. I've survived a war, the loss of a stepchild, divorces, two cancers and a near major emotional breakdown. My style was one of going inside myself to draw on deep resources. When that style didn't work, I just endured, not knowing if I could survive or not. While I preached the necessity of everyone having a support group, I didn't feel that I really fit in anywhere; so community was a place for others. I rarely if ever feel lonely; so it was ok. And I made it through cancer.

And I suffered, silently for the most part, and began to become emotionally dead inside. Fortunately, one old friend, a dear soulmate persisted and sought me out, no, dragged me out. She brought the first inklings of a new life to me. Simultaneously, for whatever reason I visited the CSN chat room. These were real people, stripped of pretense, and they welcomed me, comforted me in ways they don't even know. And I began to unthaw and find joy in life again. I cannot ever go back to an earlier time before cancer. And I don't want to. This is much better.


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