CSN Login
Members Online: 4

You are here


idk wat to do

I just found out my bf has stage 4 lung cancer n hes only 21.. he had so many plans.. we won't grow old together Omg :(


i've just been reading your notes to each other. i'm thrilled to have found this site. i'm about to either start my chemo or have my ovaries out first. i do have the brca 2 gene.

Step_by_faith's picture

Have alot to get off my mind

I'm nowhere near perfect. I eat when I'm bored, I always end up liking the guy who never like me back or acts t0o good for me.I mean, there are times when you have no clue what to say to someone. No clue how to end their pain, but to give them a hug. It doesn't take the pain away, doesn't make their problem go away. But it gives them this little ounce of hope, that it makes it all okay.I'm not saying I have nothing...I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too hard to handle, sometimes I feel likes it's too much. I'm not gonna do anything stupid because I know it will get better. It has to, right? Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years; But for now, just for now....it hurts.Nothing's good enough for anybody else, it seems. When I'm all alone it's the best way to be.You build up all these defenses, you build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, and then one person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your life; you give them a piece of you. They dont ask for it. then your life isn't your own anymore.I hide myself with music.i never show my feelings; always keeping things bottled up inside.I'd hate for anyone to see the day i exposes it all.When I tell you how you've made me feel; you'll never be able to look at her the same way again.She's standing on a line between giving up & seeing how much more she can take. Have u ever watched a movie -- but really wasent watching it? had to much on ur mind where you cant even focus in to the movie ...the movie ends and you are still looking blank at the screen -- my eyes scream for help and no one seems to see it..

Ovarian cancer

I was in remission for thirteen years and this year it has come back with a vengence but I believe if I beat it once I can do it again I hope.

Tina Blondek's picture

Dad's Memorial Service March 28, 2010

Hello My CSN Friends,
We had my dad's memorial service today. It was perfect. So many friends and family came to honor him and celebrate his life. It was wonderful. This is the closing of this chapter, but an opening to a new chapter in our lives. We will all have to live our lives without him, but his memories will live on forever. We all look forward to seeing him again in our future. Where we will all live together in eternity. Thanks again to all of you. I will continue to keep up with all of you here on this website.


CiAnnaBananna's picture

Waiting for Answers

All the symptoms were there. Coughing for 8 months, night sweats, itchy skin, fatigue, oh, and that huge lump on my neck. However none of them seemed related. The coughing was because I was just sick. The night sweats were because I was just hot at night, plus had a 60 pound boxer sleeping on top of me. I was just itchy every now and again. I was tired because I was just lazy. I actually had the lump checked out about a year ago and had an ultrasound. The doctor said it was clear but told me to call if it didn't go down. Well it never went down and I never called.

I was in Chicago about 3 weeks ago with my parents and my cough was so bad this week that I literally threw up everything I ate for 8 days. Once I was back in Memphis, my mom forced me to go to the doctor. He gave me a chest xray and there it was. A mass on my lung the size of a tennis ball. That set the next events in motion really quickly. After getting a CT scan and getting about 3 opinions all my doctors have diagnosed me with what is probably Hodgkins Lymphoma. HMMM.

D Lewis's picture

Cancer Patient Humor

Or, what NOT to do to a cancer patient...

My teenaged daughter trimmed her bangs over my bathroom sink yesterday morning, using my special sharp scissors, and she didn't clean up any of the hair clippings before she left. Enter Mom (just two weeks into a cisplatin chemo regime) to comb her hair over the same sink. Quick glance down; "Aaaaiiiiiieeeeeeyyyyyy!"

Daughter, later; "Um, Mom... did you happen to notice that the sink hair was straight and red, and yours is blond and curly?"


Two-Year Survivor of BREAST CANCER

I found the lump just a few days after my 67th birthday, but didn’t tell anyone. I was numb and in denial. “If I don’t touch it, it isn’t really there.” But after a couple of weeks, I had to tell my husband, and that started the whirlwind of doctors, tests, biopsy, surgery. I was diagnosed with Early Stage Breast Cancer. First I had a lumpectomy, but cancer cells were found outside the margin, so I chose to have a bilateral mastectomy. Just three months after I found the lump, I had no breasts.

Next was the dreaded chemo, which actually wasn’t as bad as I had expected, but certainly not enjoyable. I had four cycles, 21 days apart. Fourteen days after the first chemo, I was bald. I lost finger and toe nails, also. I had neuropathy, which was the only pain I experienced. My husband shaved his head, and we called ourselves the “Bald Eagles.” I opted for no reconstruction, figuring at this age, I would rather be natural.

Davepet's picture


My last 5 day chemo week is done! Still two more weeks of one treatment/week before I'm done, but those aren't bad. So far I'm more tired than any of the previous treatments & my GI tract is very unhappy, but I'm getting through it with the help of a few nausea pills so far.

edit on 3-30-10: Just realized I forgot to mention that on 3/16 we discovered a blood clot in my jugular, just above where my medi-port catheter ends. So I've been on anticoagulants (Arixtra injections + warfarin) since then, we just dropped the Arixtra this week.

about me

Want to let everyone know alittle bit about myself. My world came to a whirl wind in feb. of 2009 when i went in for a normal checkup when my doc. told me that my cervex didnt look right. she got a samlpe some how. She told me that she was going to do some test and that it could be a number of things including cancer. I was speechless because my anut was dying from overine cancer she had fought for 6 years when it finally took its toll. So when i left the doc office i went home and got on my computer and looked up stds and cancer and it was going to be one or the other so when i got the call from hera few days later that she told me that she was sending me to another doc.


Subscribe to RSS - blogs